ON CIVILITY
Civility is the cooperative, constructive discussion of important matters. Civility leads to answers. The lack of civility produces division and chaos. Media and modern forms of communication discourage civility. We citizens are suffering for it. We can fix the problem by following one simple rule. Speak to what people do instead of name-calling. Imagine a Presidential campaign free from name calling. Can even one of the competitors set themselves apart?
A simple but instructive lesson in civility is the interaction of parent and child. The parent who says “bad boy” conveys a message that hits at the child’s self-image: “Is that who I am?” The parent who says, “what you did is bad”, leaves room for growth and understanding. Obviously, a bad child is more likely to repeat bad behavior, but the child who does something bad, can learn and do better.
Name calling, the opposite of civility, is polarizing. It discourages discussion of issues and emphasizes power. The person with wealth, political or social support is easily tempted to name calling or branding. It avoids having to answer serious questions and invites agreement and disagreement based upon affiliations and not facts or reasoning.
Refocusing a discussion on what is said and done does not merely change the tone, it requires both sides to listen to the other. It requires each side to state what facts they are relying on and replies that dispute facts and arguments.
Trash talking and name calling are invitations to take sides and end the discussion. Unfortunately, the media and social media thrive on this. Media want the sound bite and discord. Social media, being anonymous, fuel the intolerant and the taking of sides in the fight.
It would be most welcome if the media made the simple distinctions between name calling and speech directed to what is done and said. If you are on social media, demand an end to name-calling and trash talking or find a space that does so.
ROLing 